Do you ever wonder why people treat you the way they do sometimes? Do you often feel taken for granted, unappreciated, or disrespected in general? If this is the case, then there may be a few questions you should be asking yourself:
- Do I respect my time? My feelings? Myself? If you consistently allow others to blow you off ("Oh that's okay, I have a lot to do any way"), allow yourself to be taken advantage of ("Sure, I'll watch your dog and water your plants (despite the fact you refuse to bring in my mail when I'm out of town)!"), or put yourself down ("I can be such an idiot! What a stupid thing to do"), you are inadvertently setting the precedent for how others will treat you. People aren't dumb. They pick up on the fact you do not value yourself. While some may be cheerleaders and encourage you to stick up for yourself, others will take advantage of your insecurities. They do not see why they need to treat you well. After all, you don't treat you well!
- Have I ever told them how I feel? People are not mind readers. We are all get wrapped up in our own head space sometimes and make comments or behave in a way that hurts other people without noticing it. It is your job to share how you feel. People who are worth your time and energy will care if they have hurt you. For tips of how to share your feelings effectively, please refer to my post Communication 101.
- Do I allow myself to be taken care of? Hmmm...this is a deeeeeep question, huh? While lots of us like to complain about doing everything, we oftentimes do not allow others to do anything for us! When was the last time you asked for help? Asked for a hug? Asked for a pep talk? Or just said the words, "I need you." Being vulnerable is scary. Again, the people who are worth it will care and respond the best they can.
If you're reading this and thinking to yourself, "What? So this is all my fault? I didn't ask to be treated like this!", then I would like you to take a deep breath. Exhale. There's a power to this, you know. If you have the ability to influence people to treat you badly, you also have the power to influence people to treat you well.
This may take some thoughtful consideration on your part. Are there people in your life who don't seem to be responding to your new sense of empowerment? Then perhaps they are not the people you need in your life at this moment.
Surround yourself with people who add to your life, not people who take away. Practice forgiveness, but also self-love. Then enjoy the perks of finally being treated the right way.